Expert on impending doom and destruction. Specializes in finding creative ways to end the world.
See Barnaby's Doomsday Forecasts
Expert on impending doom via water shortages and famine. Has a great sense of humor, but it's all just a front for his impending despair.
See Chuckles' Water Shortage Forecasts
Expert on impending doom via nuclear warhead detonations. Has a fondness for top hats and monocles.
See Baron's Nuclear Forecasts
Prophet applications accepted, but not encouraged. Please do not attempt to contact any of the prophets for personal advice. Their visions may be disturbing.
Also, please do not try to hire any of the prophets for private consulting. They are not responsible for any damage to the fabric of time and space that may occur.
Prophets are not responsible for their prophecies. The world may or may not end as predicted. But let's be real, it probably will.